portland & sons

my intro paragraph to this blog was erased by the swipe of my cut-off mittens on my keyboard. and so i start this blog not as a relaxed, well-rested dreamer but as a frustrated blogger who thinks that this second draft won’t even come close to comparing to the first. but here i go again…

i am sitting in a small town bookstore in newburg, oregon. chapters is the name. i am surrounded by my favorite things: music, coffee, books {theology and non-fiction, preferred}. i shivered my way here from my friend’s pad. through the frigid low fog, i bulleted to the coffee counter and ordered the usual {no-matter-what-the-weather-is-iced-cappuccino, this time it was made by portland’s stumptown coffee grounds} and a new friend for my thighs, an orange blackberry roll. i warmed up against the red brick wall and had my daily visit with my most current minor prophet read, the book of amos. meanwhile, i feel the sense of familiarity. reading in an intimate coffee shop with the cold wind rolling through. my mind takes me back to my last december in seogwipo’s {south korea} cafes. i take a deep breath. there are moments when i truly am homesick for korea. and this morning i am infected by the same overwhelming sense of nostalgia. nothing compares to that time in my life.

it is not a coincidence that the concert last night was titled “rememeber december”. oh, goodness. {breath}

fast forward a year and i am in portland oregon. mumford and sons were my companion throughout korea. i even taught my students “little lion man”. and here a year later i was watching them perform live at the procloaimed biggest american concert {it wasn’t that big}. i didnt know exactly how to express how amazing they were. “they were better than their own cds” lexi said. yes. yes. yes. no other way to describe it. they played off the page {white, blank, of course}. i have only ever thought this of one other performer before {and we all know who i am talking about}. but to out-do yourself. out-do a computer. out-do a synthesizer. that is god-given talent.

not many people know this, but i feel music very deeply. i dont know why i am not at all talented in this area. its like when you question why a 6’5″ guy is terrible at basketball. i am that 6’5″ player. i have such a passionate heart for music, i feel it so deeply. and yet, i have no talent whatsoever. i believe this is one of the reasons why god gave me the husband that i have. he lets me sing out as loud as i want whenever i want. he even lets me tell him about my day via song. {“this morning i went to the bank and you should know that our account is lowwwww” sung to the tune of “my heart will go on”} this helps the musician inside of me.

can you imagine what heaven is going to sound like? god is going to hear me sing out to worship him and i am going to be hitting the notes that susan boyle {p.s. i love her} can only dream of. i cannot wait for my heaven song. {cheesy phil wickham reference, anyone?}